Greatness lies, not in being strong, but in the right using of strength; and strength is not used rightly when it serves only to carry a man above his fellows for his own solitary glory. He is the greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own.
--Henry Ward Beecher
Making someone suffer is not a sign of someone's greatness. It's probably an indication of a rotting mind. It is a clue to finding help, of letting go, and moving on. It means you've burned the bridges, there is no crossing over the great river of disaster.