Laughter The Best Medicine

This is one of my favorite section in Reader's Digest. I read this publication way back when I was a kid growing up in the Philippines. It makes me laugh, it helps me with my English, and spelling. I think that Reader's Digest should be a must read for every one.

I'm not being paid to say this. I just really like Reader's Digest. See that picture above? They have that on their magazines. Some of the funny tasteful jokes I've learn to tell comes from this magazine. It's just really sad I haven't had a chance to read much magazine. Too busy with life, but I'm thinking, it's time to subscribe again.

This is Why I Love Matt Damon!

It great that he could take himself lightly sometimes.

Advice Column From A Man

From the advice column, "Dear Walter"

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me. The other day I set off for work
leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I
hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine
conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back
home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't
believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady
making mad passionate love to her.

When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went
into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her
rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman
back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she
awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and
he was attempting to break free when I came back.

But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on,
he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair
for the past six months.

I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from
his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling
increasingly depressed and worthless. I am 32, my husband is
34 and we have been married for twelve years. I love him
very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has
become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through
to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila




Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be
caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by
checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is
clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake
manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of
these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the
fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to
the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

Walter

Just Desserts

I think this is a well-written thing about cheating. Statistics show that when a couple divorce, they don't usually marry the person they cheated with. I guess you could say it has doom written all over it. Isn't that an equivalent to rebound relationship?

There's a man in Britain. He just bought a new Jaguar. He then cheated on his wife, but forgot the car is in his wife's name. She spray-painted it red, and advertised the car for sale at half the price. It's almost funny if it's not so sad that there's too many people who should stay put instead of stay.

So what's the moral of this story of an English guy and his jaguar? Don't cheat and buy a new jaguar at the same time! Or something similar.

And look at this...a great song by Rihanna's Unfaithful. The guy should have kicked her ass.

Funny Quotes

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

I Didn't Know About This One

I stumble into this one and just have to put it here so I can remember it.

Well, Here She is!

My Children Loves Dora....and so do I after this

Thank you, Tide!*

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties

I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

*got this from e-mail.