Serendipity: March 2007

Cheating!

The Book Bitches mentioned some interesting stuff on cheating.

Women cheat for sex, for intimacy, for revenge

Published February 21, 2007

Why do women cheat? Is it for sex? Is it for revenge? Is it for emotional closeness? Or a combination of all three? Or does it depend on the woman?

Patricia: "I had sex outside of my committed relationship for pure physical gratification. I didn't want any emotional involvement. I just wanted hot monkey sex! I didn't want to hear about his day or his aches and pains or all the injustices in the world. I didn't want his opinion about anything. I just wanted some fun or, to put it a bit crudely, I just wanted some `strange.'

"I'm not proud of it. I know that it was wrong and if the tables were turned, I would be unhappy, though probably not as unhappy as I might have been if I hadn't been guilty of the same crime.

"Do women read bodice-ripper romance novels for the romance or the bodice-ripping? I'm willing to bet more women now just want the latter. It's taken us a long time to out our sexual needs and desires, and now we want to act on them. That's why they have sex shops!"

Meredith: "I think cheating is a peripheral issue. The same things that motivate cheating relationships also motivate non-cheating relationships."

Almost every relationship I've ever been in (whether I was cheating or not) was motivated by my feeling neglected and unloved. It's taken me a long time to realize that."

Deirdre: "I was almost 60, the loyal wife, even though my husband was an alcoholic. Then he quit drinking, but the emotional closeness I craved never happened. He shifted his loyalty from the bottle to AA, and I was still alone. I had an affair with a man who was in a marriage that also had no emotional closeness. No sex either."

As my therapist explained to me, we each had a vacuum in our lives and nature abhors a vacuum!"

I divorced my husband. After 10 years of dating, I've now resolved this issue of emotional closeness by being close with my children and my female friends. Who wants to have sex with a man of my age anyway?"

Melissa: "Lately, the only guys who are interested in me are married, middle-age men who think their wives are boring. And if I look more closely, they aren't really interested in me. They have a fantasy of what I represent. Because I'm divorced, I seem exotic to them. They think I'm living more on the edge than they. They flatter and idolize me, but it's not really me; it's what I represent and what they're hoping will rub off on them.

"They don't interest me. Anyway, I don't care to hurt their wives or children. I think I'd feel a much stronger bond to their wives if I met them than I do to them. But, I must say, I like the attention, and when I'm having a bad day, I fantasize about what one of these guys might have to offer."

Gina: "My first husband cheated on me all the time, and right from the start of our marriage. It hurt me a lot. After two babies, three miscarriages and a preemie who didn't make it, I had a tubal ligation and started cheating back. I was looking to hurt him as he had hurt me. But he loved it! He wanted to take photos and videos!"

As I was coming to the realization that it was time to end the marriage, my husband hooked up with a woman who apparently thought that group sex with him and me and her husband was a good idea. It never happened, but both marriages broke up, and I have been married to that other woman's husband for 25 years. He swears he's never cheated on me -- which I believe -- and I know I've never cheated on him."

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Have you renewed your vows? Why? How? Send your tale, along with your relationship questions and problems, to cheryllavin@aol.com or Cheryl Lavin, Tales From the Front, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.

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Copyright © 2007, Chicago Tribune

Wordless Wednesday #9

Grey's Anatomy Sucks!

Where to start?

First off, did the writer even watch Grey's Anatomy? I don't care that Patrick Dempsey is really sexy on TV guide cover, the episode with that new ugly old doctor sucks. Sucks! SUCKS!

Second, did she forgot to mention a massive viral infection which affect people's personality? That is the most likely explanation for that out-of-whack episode.

George and Izzie? That was cheap. I can explain Merideth and George. I can believe Merideth adn George. That show last Thursday was a travesty!

Did Christina undergone brain transplant?

I thought that marriage proposal scene with Burke and Christina was so romantic! Where did this writer came out and ruin all that? It's not even that believable that Christina would have that drastic personality.

Please tell me that the episode was somebody's drug trip. That I could believe.

On the other hand, isn't this guy sexy and sultry?

Off To See The Wizard

This begs the question of my desire to ever go back to school. Advance studies have a wicked way of getting in the way of my reading the next best seller. But, hey! Who knows after my baby is grown...I might get bored with not having anything to do.

So, what advance degree does this wizard points you to? How accurate is it?

You Should Get a JD (Juris Doctor)

You're logical, driven, and ruthless.
You'd make a mighty fine lawyer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Tax System Explained In Simple Terms

Sometimes politicians, journalists and others exclaim; "It's just a tax
cut for the rich!" and it is just accepted to be fact. But what does that
really mean? Just in case you are not completely clear on this issue, I
hope the following will help. Please read it carefully. Let's put tax
cuts in terms everyone can understand.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner and the bill for all ten
comes to $100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something
like this:

a.. The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
b.. The fifth would pay $1.
c.. The sixth would pay $3.
d.. The seventh would pay $7.
e.. The eighth would pay $12.
f.. The ninth would pay $18.
g.. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the
restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until
one day, the owner threw them a curve.

"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the
cost of your daily meal by $20." Dinner for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the
first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free, but what
about the other six men, the paying customers? How could they divide the
$20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized
that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from
every body's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up
being paid to eat their meal. So, the restaurant owner suggested that it
would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he
proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

a.. The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
b.. The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
c.. The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
d.. The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings)
e.. The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
f.. The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued
to eat for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to
compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed
to the tenth man, "but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar,
too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than me!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when
I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get
anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the
tenth man didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without
him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something
important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half
of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our
tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most
benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being
wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start
eating overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, PhD
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia