Norma have this letter, and it's too good not to borrow.
This letter is supposed to be real--from a real Iowan, Donald Ruppert. There is such a person listed in the phone book in Burlington, but I picked it up at radio-nerd.net, then googled it and see I'm a bit late to the party. But it's pretty good.
♠
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.
Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
An Invitation to Seduction
by Lorraine HeathKitty Robertson has grown up wealthy and influential, and she's never more at home than when in an English parlour displaying her social graces.It's a fun read involving a naked Duke, a wealthy girl, intense lust with each other. It's nicely done story, nothing TSTL*, though Kitty came close a few times, but you can understand why she's doing it in context. It's not Trevor anyone...it's Richard, Duke of Weddington.
When she looks for a husband, of course she seeks a man just as home in his position - hopefully a lofty one - as she is. Nicholas Glenville, Marquess of Greystone, is just such a man. He is so attentive and gentlemanly that she can't help but accept his proposal of marriage, and is now looking forward to this Season being her last one as a single woman.
But at the very first ball of the year she meets an enigmatic, gorgeous duke who asks her for a dance. That duke is Trevor Nicholson, a man who knows the marquess well enough to know that he would not make her any kind of husband at all. Instead he nominates himself for the position, but as he soon finds, convincing the beautiful Miss Robertson to marry him instead will be the trickiest - and most worthwhile - task of his life.
I would recomment this book.
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Fiction, historical romance
*Too Stupid to Live
Spring Flowers!
I am so tickled, my flowers are blooming. My kids love it. I do know what people now meant when they say that roses then to get sick. See the black spots on the leaves? 
Goodnight Nobody
Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer WienerI've watched her other book, IN HER SHOES and cried a little. It was made into a movie with Cameroon Diaz and Shirly McLane. It was fabulous! It was a touching story about a girl and a lot of shoes, a sister, a grandma, and being broke.
This book is about a housewife living in Stepford-land and finding it really boring. She's out of sync with everyone, and gives horrendous party, it's actually funny. I didn't find it so funny when she went necking with an old beau. I know that other guy is hot, the one who got away, but for God's sake, she's married with three children. Go neck with your husband, dammit!
Aside from that, it's a good book to read, the story will keep you entertain, and you might even chuckle a little through it all. I think I prefer Ms. Wiener the chick-lit queen.
I recommend this book, if you have no other book to read.
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥
Fiction, mystery
The Thing About Adultery
See, people can have a good marriage, are having a good marriage...then comes along a really nice person who suddenly makes your blood rush to your head and to your loins, a person who really captivates you.
You have a spouse whom you are happy until this other person comes along. That's the ting about adultery. When a new person comes along, you have to manufacture reasons why you must leave this other person.
But before you do, and this is what hurts and destroy and annihilate the other person the most, you become a liar. You like about where you're going, you lie about whom you're spending your time with. You lie. You have become a liar and a two-bit, cheap cheater.
On the other hand, there is a person who just happens to be bored with her marriage. She's not interested in fixing what's wrong. She just wants to leave. It doesn't matter that by leaving she's only making herself happy, because that's their bottom line. The only thing that matters is they are happy. Period. They leave, but maybe, they won't destroy what little self-esteem their spouse have. They leave, and then they find someone who makes them happy.
Unfortunately for some people, they have the lying, two-bit cheater spouse. They did nothing wrong, but since they have not been upgraded, they're not good enough.
They're nothing a wronged spouse can do. They don't even have to do anything. No matter what, they will always be found wanting when the other have found someone new.
That's the thing about adultery. You can call it whatever. You can call it love, but really, it's nothing but lust and selfishness together. That and the selfish personality who will always cheat when they found someone new.
My question is, why can't they just leave before fucking around, because then, maybe, it will be less disgusting, less horrible to the person left behind who is suddenly no longer good enough.
[Never been good with grammar, English is my 3rd language]
You have a spouse whom you are happy until this other person comes along. That's the ting about adultery. When a new person comes along, you have to manufacture reasons why you must leave this other person.
But before you do, and this is what hurts and destroy and annihilate the other person the most, you become a liar. You like about where you're going, you lie about whom you're spending your time with. You lie. You have become a liar and a two-bit, cheap cheater.
On the other hand, there is a person who just happens to be bored with her marriage. She's not interested in fixing what's wrong. She just wants to leave. It doesn't matter that by leaving she's only making herself happy, because that's their bottom line. The only thing that matters is they are happy. Period. They leave, but maybe, they won't destroy what little self-esteem their spouse have. They leave, and then they find someone who makes them happy.
Unfortunately for some people, they have the lying, two-bit cheater spouse. They did nothing wrong, but since they have not been upgraded, they're not good enough.
They're nothing a wronged spouse can do. They don't even have to do anything. No matter what, they will always be found wanting when the other have found someone new.
That's the thing about adultery. You can call it whatever. You can call it love, but really, it's nothing but lust and selfishness together. That and the selfish personality who will always cheat when they found someone new.
My question is, why can't they just leave before fucking around, because then, maybe, it will be less disgusting, less horrible to the person left behind who is suddenly no longer good enough.
[Never been good with grammar, English is my 3rd language]
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